oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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