Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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