i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
