I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
