her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize