You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
