those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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