You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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