your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize