My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
