What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
