just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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