you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
