Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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