So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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