just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
