Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
