My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
