I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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