he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
