I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
