There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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