you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just tell him i said nine months
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
