I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize