Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
