Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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