What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
