Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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