You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
