My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
