so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
