I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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