I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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