did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
