u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
