Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
