HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
