Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
