I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
