We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
