Do you still have your period?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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