Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
