It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
