i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
