Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
