why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
