And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
