u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
