i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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