I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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