Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
