Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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