he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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