is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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