he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i believe in u and ur pee
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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