So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
