Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
