Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
