I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
