I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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