Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
